Sunday, July 20, 2008

Day... Seven?

Posting from the cell phone. Josh might be able to walk on water, heal lepers, and kill fig trees with a glance (you might need to look that one up), but getting a reliable net connection at a cheap hotel is a tall order.

I saw the pope apologized for all the altar boy rape. While I don't hold Herr Holiness personally responsible -- those kids were clearly asking for it what with their smocks and their trembling -- it does sort of tread on my next demand. Bastards.

Josh likes being in a hotel. I don't know why watching TV there is better than watching it at home, but he's become a clicker hound. If you people think it's easy to explain a tampon commercial to a child, try explaining it to someone educated by rabbis 2000 years ago who thought that menstruating was evil. And I don't know how I'm going to straighten him out about yeast infections.

Okay, we're off to see the sights. Constant vigilance!

5 comments:

Doogman said...

God is watching you.

WAVE!

Postman said...

Not only is He watching, but He has responded to your demands.

http://deusexeverriculum.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/dear-cracker-bandit/

Lf3p5D5.x8ENdMZB05PpDHcsmJMn said...

More updates, please!!!

CrackerBandit said...

Awesome. The Big Guy wants to haggle! How typical of Bill Donohue to send God to do his dirty work.

Sorry for missing Day 8, but while this is a vacation for Josh (he has discovered hip-hop videos), it's a working trip for me. More later today!

deusexeverriculum said...

I just got a message on my machine from Gawd. I’m not sure I trascribed it perfectly. There was some kind of party going on in the background, but here it is.

~Postman

“There’s that Me-damned unauthorized biography rearing it’s ugly head again! How many times do I have to say it? This “bible” you refer to is, to put it bluntly, a tissue of whoppers.
Okay, well, some of it’s based on fact; I did My fair share of smiting when I was younger and I did flood the entire earth - once - but that was all down to government regulations on paying back My student loans, really.
As for Donohue sending Me to do anything - how would you like a smite in the teeth?
But, hey, do what you want… I’m on vacation.”